Balancing Balance

Although I have not been writing this past week (I have had a terrible chest issue), I certainly have not stopped thinking about Balance.  I have not forgotten to live balance either.

As I was thinking about balance, I realized that even balance needs to be balanced at some points.  What do I mean?  Sometimes you need to take a break from balance and go off in only one direction! Live lopsided for a while!  Everything in moderation...unless it is time to take a break.  Balance your work, unless it is time for a vacation and just play!  We all need a break from things.

This reminds me of many vacations that I have had where, even though the vacation was fantastic...it was exhausting!  I needed a break from my vacation!  Often, my break consists of going back to work.  I crave the scheduled life.  Without the routine, I fall apart.  Talk about unbalance...I could not be more unbalanced if I tried!

So...can I have a world of balance where balance is the only stance of my life?  Ouch!  I am not a monk...even though I have always had a dream of being a Buddhist Monk.  Balance takes work.  Even though my goal for this year is to make balance second-nature...I do not see it being so intense that I must be perfect at it.  That is too much pressure.  That is not balance.

Balance.

As I think about balancing balance...the only standard that I feel I need to be relying on is the balance of time.  As long as my time is balanced...I can have a break from balance knowing that after the alarm sounds...I can return to balance refreshed, renewed, and rejuvenated.

My friend and co-worker Maria supplied my image for today's post.  Thanks Maria.

As I look at this animal balancing on such a small object, I am reminded that balance can be achieved through focus.  This animal obviously is not thinking about dinner or traffic, or even the economy and job market.  Although he...or she...is focused, the ball can represent the floor of a gymnasium.  As long as there is a place to put the feet, plant them firmly and focus.  Balance.

Peace.

Mark.

Balancing something to look forward to

Most of us are usually in one state or the other.  We have something to look forward to or there is nothing in sight and we feel stuck having to just live life until the next thing comes along that we can look forward to.  This feels like a waste of life.  Doesn't it?

When we get caught in the cycling web of waiting for something to look forward to there is a fundamental problem.  We are not living life while we are waiting.  We sit waiting and day dreaming about what we are looking forward to, not paying any attention to the life in front of us.  When the day or moment finally comes and what we have been waiting for is finally here...it is here...it passes...and MOST of the time we are not as satisfied with the outcome.  In fact, very often...the anticipation was most exciting than the event itself.

The fix.

Stop waiting for something to look forward to.  If you have something to look forward to..great, bonus!  But stop making it the only focus.  Instead...live in the moment.  Make the best of the moment.  Savor the moment and taste all of its flavors.  Hear the sounds of the moment.  Make the moment stop!  Look around at the moment and appreciate the moment before the next one comes.  Once the next one is here...do it all again.

Zen?  I think so.  In the moment.  Mindfulness.  Be here.  Now.

Balance.

It is certainly fun to look forward to things like vacations or new events or things.  Stop and notice these feelings....bask in them for a moment.  Then come back to now.  I need to spend more time in the present.  In the now.  Before I know it, I will be out of days.  I don't want to miss anymore.  I am done only looking forward as opposed to looking at the moment I am in.

Peace.

Mark.

Balancing Attention

We all tend to have difficulty paying attention sometimes.  Maybe we are sick or something is laying heavily on our minds.  Today, it is as if we are constantly over-stimulated by things that desire attention.  Besides the obvious...loved one, TV, phone calls, watching the road while we drive...the new era of electronics that ring or buzz every time you get a new "notification" has us being called from our other attentions.

I wonder what it was like when there was nothing to pay attention to expect what you chose to pay attention to?  If there were no phones, cars, cell phones, iPads, TVs, and so on...then we can chose to pay attention to something that might have more meaning to us.  The fist thing that comes to my mind is nature.  I love being out in nature where the only thing you can hear...is the natural side of nature.  No electronics or anything man-made.  The sounds of leaves rustling or the sound of crickets chirping.

Balance.

In an effort to balance things that make up my life, I have decided that I want to be the one who choses what I pay attention to.  I no longer want to feel compelled too pay attention to the things that buzz or ring, or make any other noise.  I will get to them when I decide it is time for these machines to get my attention.  Meanwhile...I want to be in charge of my attention mindfully.

I love thinking mindfully.  When I can isolate a thought or a feeling and simply enjoy it for what it is.  When I can enjoy the feel of warm grass beneath my feet or hard, cool floor...I block out everything else in the world and experience it.

I love when I can do this with people too.  When was the last time you gave someone 100% attention?  Not just make believe you were listening to them...really hearing them.  Being completely with them in the moment.  It is hard to do, isn't it?  There is always a ton on my mind.  I want to start to balance my attention so I can decide what gets my attention.  I am finding myself with my attention split almost all of the time these days.  Not only in half.  I would guess I would be luck to only have my attention split in half.  I would estimate that my attention is split at least 10 ways at any given moment.

The goal.

Focus my attention whenever possible.  Focus on only one thing.  I am sure it will take a lot of practice.  It is Zen.  Zen is always practice.  It is the awareness that I am excited for.

Balance.

Of course there will be times at work, or at life in general that I will have no choice but to pay attention to many things at the same time.  I want balance though.  I will start making efforts to give myself the gift of isolated attention beginning today.  Maybe, if I do it right...I will become happier about what I do pay attention to and feel less guilty about the things in life I miss by paying attention to the wrong things.

Peace.

Mark.

Balancing Bad Luck

If you believe in bad luck.  Some don't.  Some believe that we make our own luck...that the actions that we take cause reactions and those reactions are sometimes bad.  We call that luck.  Not sure how I am feeling about that right now.

We hear sayings all of the time:

"misery loves company"

"when it rains, it pours"

"timing is everything"

"if it weren't for bad luck, I would have no luck at all"

"I have a dark cloud following me"

I am pretty sure all these sayings (and these are just a few) wouldn't exist if bad luck wasn't a regular part of luck.  The thing is...in my quest for balance...and in a way, for peace... is how we deal with the luck we are given for a given day or week, or whatever.

Balance.

How we approach a situation can determine whether or not it will get to us more than it has to.  I have watched so many people confronted with the worst of luck simply walk away from the mess and say, "oh well, there is always tomorrow."  I have often wondered if these people are nuts or have a magic answer to the disastrous days we all suffer.  I am more than certain that they actually have the answer!

What is the answer?  Not taking the bad luck seriously or personally.  Most of the time, it was just one of those things.  Sometimes it was fourteen of those things.  Things happen in life just because they happen.  It doesn't mean we made bad decisions or are being punished for something we did.  I believe in Karma, but it doesn't mean we are paying for something we did badly to someone if we are dealt a bad day.  Luck isn't out to get us.  Sometimes it just finds us and we are in the way.  I find that by acknowledging the luck as bad, noticing it as bad, and moving on is the best way to handle bad luck.  It is about balance.  Move on.  Tomorrow is another day and it can and will be better for you.

Self-fulfilling prophecy.  Not something I would recommend to anyone.  I have found that if I over react to something that has gone completely wrong and I expect more bad to happen...it does.  It is like I expect it, so I am calling the bad luck to myself.  This can easily be reversed.  Laugh at the bad luck...AND...expect something great to come out of it.  Why not?  It certainly can't hurt anything.  Meanwhile, you will be positive in spirit and in attitude and that is NOT a bad thing.

Balance.

I think this idea speaks to me in many ways.  It makes me want to simply look at the good and the positive side of everything that I possibly can.  Even if something is turning out to be a serious pain physically or emotionally...at least my positivity will get me through it feeling better about life...about myself....more balanced.

Peace.

Mark.

Balancing Hope

First let me say that this will definitely NOT be the only post that I will write about balancing hope.  There is way too much to talk about here.  So... I will give a taste of where I am at with it.

Zen philosophy talks about the negative side of hope...that hope is an illusion and the only thing that hope leads to is disappointment.  I find this true often, but not always.

It is easy to have hopes and dreams about achieving something.  These are the hopes that I am okay with.  The hopes of winning the Lotto...that is an entirely different story!

Hope can become a burden at times.  We tend to collect hopes, or at least those that are looking for hope around every corner.  It is so easy to get our minds and lives flooded with hopes.  The hopes then become overwhelming and we are left with no accomplishments...just hopes.  Our hopes then become something ugly.  Something to feel bad about.

Balance.

To balance hope, I am finding that the healthy hopes are temporary.  If they are short-termed hopes, they do not seem to take up too much mind-space or time.  For example, if I hope that my headache goes away before the students enter my room in the morning, there is a time limit to my hope.  If the headache is still there as the kids are coming in screaming...no reason to hope anymore.  The time period for the hope has expired.

Balance also tends to minimize the amount of hopes that I carry at a time.  If they are temporary, there are only so many hopes that can happen in a given 24 hour period of time.  I can have a whole new set tomorrow.  I kind of like the idea that I don't have to carry the hopes with my until tomorrow.  I have to tell you, it sure makes for more restful sleep.

I have heard the phrase, "Hope springs eternal" and I have to tell you...if this case, I am not a fan.  Not that I am trying to look at the negative side of hope.  But hope itself is positive and I am not sure if it needs a slogan to make it more so.  We can follow our dreams, as long as the dreams do not become nightmares.

Peace.

Mark.

Balancing the Stuff

At heart, I am a minimalist.  Unfortunately, at my house...I am a collector of too much stuff.  Too many clothes, too much furniture, too much of many things.  In an effort to balance life, in a simple Zen way, I want to get rid of things.  I am pretty good at getting rid of things I simply do not use or even things that are no longer working.  I also am a pretty neat person.

At times in my life...I have been called a neat freak.  I like to keep things in order.  I am getting to that point, in the interest in balance...AND in the interest in the fact that too much stuff eventually drives me nuts, that it is time to get rid of stuff.

I am thinking through getting rid of the things that I do not use or just don't matter to me anymore.  I kept a lot of things from my mother after she passed away over 3-years ago.  I am now interested in keeping just a handful of things that REALLY mattered to me from her.

The fix:  Garage Sale!

I am starting to collect things for a garage sale this Spring.  It is exciting, cleansing, and allows me to feel more in line with my journey of balance.

Balance.

I find it interesting that getting rid of things and knowing they are gone, to a good home, is so liberating.  At the same time, it is easy to recognize how much money was wasted buying the things and how much better off I might have been if I never bought the stuff in the first place.  But that is another issue for another post.

So...where do I go from here?

1.  Collect the stuff to sell (and give away)
2.  Get ready to enjoy the freedom of the space.

There is a song by Sheryl Crow where the lyrics go something like...

"its not having what you want it's wanting what you've got"

And that is it.  Sometimes you have so much that you can't enjoy it.  Not that this is my case.  I just want to be simple about what I have...especially if it feels like clutter.  I want my stuff to fit into my newly balanced life.  That is the plan, anyway.

Peace.

Mark.

Balancing the Diet

Along with everything else being out of balance...it is pretty easy to see why my eating habits have suffered, as have my clothing.  Eating takes time, and should be planned out.  Mindless eating, with the TV on, and the stress of the day has led me to gaining weight.  Not a ton, but enough to stand in my way of comfort and clothes.  It has become too easy to eat portions that are out of control.  Why? I am NOT paying attention and not planning for balance.

What is the fix?

1.  Slow down.
2.  Plan.
3.  Be mindful of what is going into my stomach, how much, and make sure my meals are balanced.
4.  Work the plan.  Assess what is or is not working and change accordingly.

Balance.

With these daily Blog posts...I am finding how truly interconnected all of these elements needing to be balanced really are.

For now, I am not going to worry about how much weight I am losing or what my goal weight is.  I am sure I will get there once the plan is in place and it starts to feel part of the routine.  Now...I will simply work the plan and strive for balance.

Peace.

Mark.

Balancing Sleep

Okay, this is a HUGE issue with me lately.  All I want to do is sleep.  Some might thing it is because I am depressed or escaping something.  Maybe I am escaping the load that I feel on my plate?  Maybe there is so much to do that I have no idea where to start so I sleep to make it go away?  Maybe I am old and getting tired?  Maybe it is my diet or lack of one?  Maybe I do not get enough vitamins or drink enough water?  Maybe I have just way too much on my mind?  Regardless...I am sleeping my life away.  I am tired of it!  I am done!  This is an area that needs to be balanced RIGHT NOW!

Balance.

So where do I start?  I think I need to begin by making a plan.  Stop negotiating wake-up times and just follow my plan.  I also, when I wake early or on-time...wonder what I should be doing.  Since I don't have a plan...I go back to sleep.  Lose-Lose!

So here is what I have so far...

1.  Set a wake-up time.
2.  Make a plan of what to do to get my day started.  Give my awaken-ness purpose!
3.  Follow this plan.

Can it be that easy?  It can't be, right?  I mean...if it is this easy, why am I always sleeping? Maybe because I have had NO PLAN?

So let's start today.  By today...I mean tomorrow morning.

Now for an odd question.  How much time do I allow myself to sleep.  On a given school/work night, I am lucky to get more than 7 hours.  According to what I read...6 hours is enough as long as I am active and taking better care of myself.  Well...these are other goals listed on this journey.  So...I will go with 6-7 hours per night.

Routines have always been my friend.  Well, when they work well.  This routine of sleeping my life away has NOT been my friend in an any way, shape, or form.  Once it becomes my routine, I think I can easily slip into working on the next part of this.  What is that?  Exercise!  I need to energy from the correct amount of sleep to do that.  Interesting how too much sleep gives a person less energy.

See you in the morning. (Not afternoon)

Peace.

Mark.

Balancing the word "NO"

In my quest for balance in my life, I recall a time where I was too weak to say the word NO.  This got me into a lot of trouble.  I over-committed, and spread myself so thin, often double-booking my time and never taking care of myself.  To get better at saying the word, NO...it has taken me a lot of time.  It has also taken getting over the guilt that I felt when I used the word.  I felt selfish.

Now, that I am maybe 80% healed of the issue and can say NO most of the time, I need balance to finish the job.  Don't get me wrong, it is often very fine to say YES.  Saying YES often makes you a good, giving person.  What I am left with in the saying NO department...I think is a pretty common dilemma.

Balance.

At work.  I think saying NO often feels like you are cutting out opportunities.  "If I say no, I may never be asked again" is what comes to mind.  I like making opportunities for myself, not ending them.  Maybe though, this is my issue.  Because I am so worried about closing the door to opportunities, I am afraid to say no.  MOST of the time, there are consequences.  I am often hearing myself saying, "Man, it was a good idea at the time" about times that I have said yes.

The reality is that I always have way too many opportunities.  Maybe I won't die if I let go of some of them and focus on the ones that matter...the ones that I have created on purpose?

Socially.  I often forget how to say NO because I don't want to let people down.  Sometimes it even equates to rescuing those that need me.  Sure...it feels good to help others.  I do that for me.  Saying YES though, often takes some of me that I would have preferred not to have given.

I know there is a balance here.  I admit, I am way better today than I was 15 years ago.

Family.  Do I really want to go here?  Again, I have become much better at this.  In fact, I think my family has gotten better at this together.  I often find myself begging to help family members...to the point of intrusion.  I am sure I can help my father more with little complaints from him though.

Balance.

So where does this fit in with my quest for balance?  Simply...if I balance agreeing to doing things for other, I will have more time to work on the other pieces I strive to balance for myself.  Selfish?  I hope not.  I am sure I don't have to worry about it.  If I find myself saying NO too much, I am sure I will be called on it.

Peace.

Mark.

Balancing Goals

I have come to realize that balancing goals can be as important as balancing events.  It is easy to shrug off goals as abstract ideas that hopefully will occur in the future.  Maybe for some, this can even be true.  For me, goals carry the same mental weight as events or activities.  I still have to plan for the goals and prepare whenever possible.  Even more, I carry the weight of the burden of the goals with me.  It is a type of self-guilt that I should be making time for the goal or even self-criticism for not working towards that goal in the moment.

Now all of this is assuming that I carry only one goal at a time.  Sorry me, this is not so.  I cannot recall a time in my life that I would have had any less than 5 or 6 goals.  And these were conscious goals that I can name and express as significant goals at that given time.

How can I balance my life if I can't even balance my goals?  The goals that lay heavy on my shoulders, haunt my dreams, and silently pull me towards and away things while I am unaware.  How can I bring balance to this part of me?

In taking a step back from myself, I can propose a plan for myself.  The plan goes something like this...

*  Make a list of all of my conscious goals.
*  Prioritize these goals.
*  Choose one to focus on.  Choose the one that either can bring the most pleasure doing, the one that   is the easiest to succeed at, or the one that is pressing most due to time constraints.
*  Know that the other goals are on that piece of paper, but deserve no concern until the ONE that is being focused on is completed and celebrated!
*  Revisit the list and start over again...

Questions...

- Can I do this?
- Can I stick with it?
- Will it work?

Of course, the answers to these questions and concerns are obvious...I will only know if I try it.

So, here goes the plan.

Wish me luck.

Peace.

Mark

Balance is a work in progress

I have noted on social media and most so on Facebook that very little is balanced in life for many.  I see so many posts about hurt.  I see even more that are very PRO or AGAINST the president, the Pope, or government.  So many pieces of media that make claims that are powerful enough for some people to just simply give up.

In my efforts to bring balance to my life, I need to make a solid decision.  That decision is about my use of social media.  I absolutely love the fact that I get to stay connected to people, reconnect, and even make friends from around the world.  The Problem.  As stated above, there is so much to confuse my mind or get in the way of balance, that I question the value of the way that I have been using social media in my life.

Balance.

So where is my balance?  Not sure yet.  Here are my possible solutions...or at least the ones that I have proposed to myself.

1.  Stop using social media.

2.  Find a way to be purpose oriented with my use of social media.  In other words, log on with a purpose such as see what my friends are up to, make a specific connection, or limit my time with my views.

3.  Do nothing and get over it.

4.  Block all "friends" except for those that I feel are healthy for my journey of balance.

My assessment.

1.  I would miss the positives if I stopped.

2.  This makes sense, but I would need a specific plan.

3.  Doing nothing defeats my efforts of balance.

4.  All people, even my friends have bad days or get on a rant.  If I did this, I mine as well do number 1 and stop using social media.


The solution.

At least we will call it the solution for now.  Balance is a work in progress.  As it is...I am going for option number 2.  Again, I will need some sort of plan of attack.  This one fits today.  I am finding that in balance, it has to be a work in progress.  It is a process.  Nothing stays balanced once it is in balance.  The world and life doesn't work that way.

Peace.

Mark.

One Little Word 2014

It is that time of the year again when I can choose ONE little word that will drive me and my focus for the year.  Although I did not blog about my word much last year, I can honestly say that it was always on in the background.  My word waited to be called or needed.  Whenever there was cause, my word came out, took me by the hand, and led me to focus.

How could I not grasp for ONE little word this year?

My word didn’t take that much time or effort for me to choose.  In fact, I didn’t find it.  My word found me.  It was obvious.  It was waiting for me to pick up and put to work.

My word.  My ONE little word.  ”BALANCE”

Why?  Many reasons.  It fits.

Balance.

I tend to give all or next to nothing to a personal cause…or at least that is how it seemed to be last year.  I would be all in, or procrastinate.  Like moderation, balance was missing from my world.  I gained weight, let myself get caught up in worries about my profession and about the world at large, I did little writing, and I did a whole lot of nothing important while having so many projects that I not only wanted to get to and complete…but would have enjoyed them all.

Balance.

My change.  My movement toward balance is pretty obvious for me.  I need to find balance within and outside of myself.  I need to spread myself more evenly.  Not too thin, but evenly across what is important to me at this moment.  The t areas are My Writing, My Health, My Professional world, My Relationships, My fun projects, and My Peace.

Balance.

My writing needs to move from the back seat and find a part of my routine.  I am routine oriented, so one would think that this is an easy one.  NOT.  My writing will have purpose and a time slot of priority in my life this year.  It needs to become more of a habit than an event.

My health always suffers at the hands of my scheduleand my emotions.  Step one is not to allow my emotions to get in the way of anything, especially my health.  My eating habits and most importantly, my exercise needs to be a hunger for me as it was just a few years ago.

My professional world has so many aspects to it right now.  This includes my writing.  This includes my learning.  At this time, I have decided to simply enjoy the ride of my progress and create a trustworthy process to keep me growing while being in the moment with my own reflections and my students.

My relationships.  Even though I work with my wife and she is my best friend, we do not spend enough time, at all, just begin witheach other as a couple…or as one.  Because we share the same passions, sometimes the passions become our focus and not US.  That needs to change with balance.  Also, friends.  I have spent less and less time with friends…old and new…in the past few years.  I need friends and their differing perspectives on things.

My fun projects include building things out of wood, building or making things that only have meaning to me, cooking, and even cleaning.  I need to create.  I also need to get back into music whether it is a JAM session with the guys or something more regular.  I have moved away from so many hobbies including fishing, canoeing, and even camping.  Maybe there dis some room for that in my balance equation?

Finally, I need to balance in my own Peace.  Call it Zen, religion, or Native meditations…there needs to be My Peace.  In many ways, I think this is the foundation needed for my focus on balance.

Like anything else similar to this, there will be great times and accidentally vacations from my focus.  This is NOT a New Years resolution.  This is a quiet song playing in the back of my mind nudging me to where I need to and want to be.

Let’s see how it goes.  It all starts right now.

Peace.  Mark