Energy to invest!

So, a pretty good day for having messed up sleep.  Was there energy.  Not much, until I had one of those talks with myself and got myself going.  My school work become intentional.  My productivity became real.  I can say that I am ready for school to go back into session and to hit the ground running on Monday and Tuesday.  I even emailed over 50 parents welcoming their students back to their second semester!  Not much energy exerted, but it feels like an accomplishment.

So what is next?

Physical energy.  I am not going to lie, I am concerned about my sedentary life as of late.  I plan on doing that age old new year thing- working out.  Exercise.  I need it bad.  It might take baby steps.  I can;t let myself care about how much I can do or failure for that matter.  I just need to do it!  The same way my writing needs to happen.  That is a subject for another day very soon.

My take away?

I get in my own way.  My thinking about failure is the perfect recipe for procrastination, and thus, the lack of inertia.  No start to get my rear end moving and then...my rear end does not move.

I am ready.

It is time.

Here we go!

Peace.

Mark

Balancing something to look forward to

Most of us are usually in one state or the other.  We have something to look forward to or there is nothing in sight and we feel stuck having to just live life until the next thing comes along that we can look forward to.  This feels like a waste of life.  Doesn't it?

When we get caught in the cycling web of waiting for something to look forward to there is a fundamental problem.  We are not living life while we are waiting.  We sit waiting and day dreaming about what we are looking forward to, not paying any attention to the life in front of us.  When the day or moment finally comes and what we have been waiting for is finally here...it is here...it passes...and MOST of the time we are not as satisfied with the outcome.  In fact, very often...the anticipation was most exciting than the event itself.

The fix.

Stop waiting for something to look forward to.  If you have something to look forward to..great, bonus!  But stop making it the only focus.  Instead...live in the moment.  Make the best of the moment.  Savor the moment and taste all of its flavors.  Hear the sounds of the moment.  Make the moment stop!  Look around at the moment and appreciate the moment before the next one comes.  Once the next one is here...do it all again.

Zen?  I think so.  In the moment.  Mindfulness.  Be here.  Now.

Balance.

It is certainly fun to look forward to things like vacations or new events or things.  Stop and notice these feelings....bask in them for a moment.  Then come back to now.  I need to spend more time in the present.  In the now.  Before I know it, I will be out of days.  I don't want to miss anymore.  I am done only looking forward as opposed to looking at the moment I am in.

Peace.

Mark.

Balancing Attention

We all tend to have difficulty paying attention sometimes.  Maybe we are sick or something is laying heavily on our minds.  Today, it is as if we are constantly over-stimulated by things that desire attention.  Besides the obvious...loved one, TV, phone calls, watching the road while we drive...the new era of electronics that ring or buzz every time you get a new "notification" has us being called from our other attentions.

I wonder what it was like when there was nothing to pay attention to expect what you chose to pay attention to?  If there were no phones, cars, cell phones, iPads, TVs, and so on...then we can chose to pay attention to something that might have more meaning to us.  The fist thing that comes to my mind is nature.  I love being out in nature where the only thing you can hear...is the natural side of nature.  No electronics or anything man-made.  The sounds of leaves rustling or the sound of crickets chirping.

Balance.

In an effort to balance things that make up my life, I have decided that I want to be the one who choses what I pay attention to.  I no longer want to feel compelled too pay attention to the things that buzz or ring, or make any other noise.  I will get to them when I decide it is time for these machines to get my attention.  Meanwhile...I want to be in charge of my attention mindfully.

I love thinking mindfully.  When I can isolate a thought or a feeling and simply enjoy it for what it is.  When I can enjoy the feel of warm grass beneath my feet or hard, cool floor...I block out everything else in the world and experience it.

I love when I can do this with people too.  When was the last time you gave someone 100% attention?  Not just make believe you were listening to them...really hearing them.  Being completely with them in the moment.  It is hard to do, isn't it?  There is always a ton on my mind.  I want to start to balance my attention so I can decide what gets my attention.  I am finding myself with my attention split almost all of the time these days.  Not only in half.  I would guess I would be luck to only have my attention split in half.  I would estimate that my attention is split at least 10 ways at any given moment.

The goal.

Focus my attention whenever possible.  Focus on only one thing.  I am sure it will take a lot of practice.  It is Zen.  Zen is always practice.  It is the awareness that I am excited for.

Balance.

Of course there will be times at work, or at life in general that I will have no choice but to pay attention to many things at the same time.  I want balance though.  I will start making efforts to give myself the gift of isolated attention beginning today.  Maybe, if I do it right...I will become happier about what I do pay attention to and feel less guilty about the things in life I miss by paying attention to the wrong things.

Peace.

Mark.

Balancing Bad Luck

If you believe in bad luck.  Some don't.  Some believe that we make our own luck...that the actions that we take cause reactions and those reactions are sometimes bad.  We call that luck.  Not sure how I am feeling about that right now.

We hear sayings all of the time:

"misery loves company"

"when it rains, it pours"

"timing is everything"

"if it weren't for bad luck, I would have no luck at all"

"I have a dark cloud following me"

I am pretty sure all these sayings (and these are just a few) wouldn't exist if bad luck wasn't a regular part of luck.  The thing is...in my quest for balance...and in a way, for peace... is how we deal with the luck we are given for a given day or week, or whatever.

Balance.

How we approach a situation can determine whether or not it will get to us more than it has to.  I have watched so many people confronted with the worst of luck simply walk away from the mess and say, "oh well, there is always tomorrow."  I have often wondered if these people are nuts or have a magic answer to the disastrous days we all suffer.  I am more than certain that they actually have the answer!

What is the answer?  Not taking the bad luck seriously or personally.  Most of the time, it was just one of those things.  Sometimes it was fourteen of those things.  Things happen in life just because they happen.  It doesn't mean we made bad decisions or are being punished for something we did.  I believe in Karma, but it doesn't mean we are paying for something we did badly to someone if we are dealt a bad day.  Luck isn't out to get us.  Sometimes it just finds us and we are in the way.  I find that by acknowledging the luck as bad, noticing it as bad, and moving on is the best way to handle bad luck.  It is about balance.  Move on.  Tomorrow is another day and it can and will be better for you.

Self-fulfilling prophecy.  Not something I would recommend to anyone.  I have found that if I over react to something that has gone completely wrong and I expect more bad to happen...it does.  It is like I expect it, so I am calling the bad luck to myself.  This can easily be reversed.  Laugh at the bad luck...AND...expect something great to come out of it.  Why not?  It certainly can't hurt anything.  Meanwhile, you will be positive in spirit and in attitude and that is NOT a bad thing.

Balance.

I think this idea speaks to me in many ways.  It makes me want to simply look at the good and the positive side of everything that I possibly can.  Even if something is turning out to be a serious pain physically or emotionally...at least my positivity will get me through it feeling better about life...about myself....more balanced.

Peace.

Mark.

Balancing Hope

First let me say that this will definitely NOT be the only post that I will write about balancing hope.  There is way too much to talk about here.  So... I will give a taste of where I am at with it.

Zen philosophy talks about the negative side of hope...that hope is an illusion and the only thing that hope leads to is disappointment.  I find this true often, but not always.

It is easy to have hopes and dreams about achieving something.  These are the hopes that I am okay with.  The hopes of winning the Lotto...that is an entirely different story!

Hope can become a burden at times.  We tend to collect hopes, or at least those that are looking for hope around every corner.  It is so easy to get our minds and lives flooded with hopes.  The hopes then become overwhelming and we are left with no accomplishments...just hopes.  Our hopes then become something ugly.  Something to feel bad about.

Balance.

To balance hope, I am finding that the healthy hopes are temporary.  If they are short-termed hopes, they do not seem to take up too much mind-space or time.  For example, if I hope that my headache goes away before the students enter my room in the morning, there is a time limit to my hope.  If the headache is still there as the kids are coming in screaming...no reason to hope anymore.  The time period for the hope has expired.

Balance also tends to minimize the amount of hopes that I carry at a time.  If they are temporary, there are only so many hopes that can happen in a given 24 hour period of time.  I can have a whole new set tomorrow.  I kind of like the idea that I don't have to carry the hopes with my until tomorrow.  I have to tell you, it sure makes for more restful sleep.

I have heard the phrase, "Hope springs eternal" and I have to tell you...if this case, I am not a fan.  Not that I am trying to look at the negative side of hope.  But hope itself is positive and I am not sure if it needs a slogan to make it more so.  We can follow our dreams, as long as the dreams do not become nightmares.

Peace.

Mark.

Balancing the Stuff

At heart, I am a minimalist.  Unfortunately, at my house...I am a collector of too much stuff.  Too many clothes, too much furniture, too much of many things.  In an effort to balance life, in a simple Zen way, I want to get rid of things.  I am pretty good at getting rid of things I simply do not use or even things that are no longer working.  I also am a pretty neat person.

At times in my life...I have been called a neat freak.  I like to keep things in order.  I am getting to that point, in the interest in balance...AND in the interest in the fact that too much stuff eventually drives me nuts, that it is time to get rid of stuff.

I am thinking through getting rid of the things that I do not use or just don't matter to me anymore.  I kept a lot of things from my mother after she passed away over 3-years ago.  I am now interested in keeping just a handful of things that REALLY mattered to me from her.

The fix:  Garage Sale!

I am starting to collect things for a garage sale this Spring.  It is exciting, cleansing, and allows me to feel more in line with my journey of balance.

Balance.

I find it interesting that getting rid of things and knowing they are gone, to a good home, is so liberating.  At the same time, it is easy to recognize how much money was wasted buying the things and how much better off I might have been if I never bought the stuff in the first place.  But that is another issue for another post.

So...where do I go from here?

1.  Collect the stuff to sell (and give away)
2.  Get ready to enjoy the freedom of the space.

There is a song by Sheryl Crow where the lyrics go something like...

"its not having what you want it's wanting what you've got"

And that is it.  Sometimes you have so much that you can't enjoy it.  Not that this is my case.  I just want to be simple about what I have...especially if it feels like clutter.  I want my stuff to fit into my newly balanced life.  That is the plan, anyway.

Peace.

Mark.

Balancing the Diet

Along with everything else being out of balance...it is pretty easy to see why my eating habits have suffered, as have my clothing.  Eating takes time, and should be planned out.  Mindless eating, with the TV on, and the stress of the day has led me to gaining weight.  Not a ton, but enough to stand in my way of comfort and clothes.  It has become too easy to eat portions that are out of control.  Why? I am NOT paying attention and not planning for balance.

What is the fix?

1.  Slow down.
2.  Plan.
3.  Be mindful of what is going into my stomach, how much, and make sure my meals are balanced.
4.  Work the plan.  Assess what is or is not working and change accordingly.

Balance.

With these daily Blog posts...I am finding how truly interconnected all of these elements needing to be balanced really are.

For now, I am not going to worry about how much weight I am losing or what my goal weight is.  I am sure I will get there once the plan is in place and it starts to feel part of the routine.  Now...I will simply work the plan and strive for balance.

Peace.

Mark.

Balancing Sleep

Okay, this is a HUGE issue with me lately.  All I want to do is sleep.  Some might thing it is because I am depressed or escaping something.  Maybe I am escaping the load that I feel on my plate?  Maybe there is so much to do that I have no idea where to start so I sleep to make it go away?  Maybe I am old and getting tired?  Maybe it is my diet or lack of one?  Maybe I do not get enough vitamins or drink enough water?  Maybe I have just way too much on my mind?  Regardless...I am sleeping my life away.  I am tired of it!  I am done!  This is an area that needs to be balanced RIGHT NOW!

Balance.

So where do I start?  I think I need to begin by making a plan.  Stop negotiating wake-up times and just follow my plan.  I also, when I wake early or on-time...wonder what I should be doing.  Since I don't have a plan...I go back to sleep.  Lose-Lose!

So here is what I have so far...

1.  Set a wake-up time.
2.  Make a plan of what to do to get my day started.  Give my awaken-ness purpose!
3.  Follow this plan.

Can it be that easy?  It can't be, right?  I mean...if it is this easy, why am I always sleeping? Maybe because I have had NO PLAN?

So let's start today.  By today...I mean tomorrow morning.

Now for an odd question.  How much time do I allow myself to sleep.  On a given school/work night, I am lucky to get more than 7 hours.  According to what I read...6 hours is enough as long as I am active and taking better care of myself.  Well...these are other goals listed on this journey.  So...I will go with 6-7 hours per night.

Routines have always been my friend.  Well, when they work well.  This routine of sleeping my life away has NOT been my friend in an any way, shape, or form.  Once it becomes my routine, I think I can easily slip into working on the next part of this.  What is that?  Exercise!  I need to energy from the correct amount of sleep to do that.  Interesting how too much sleep gives a person less energy.

See you in the morning. (Not afternoon)

Peace.

Mark.

Balancing Goals

I have come to realize that balancing goals can be as important as balancing events.  It is easy to shrug off goals as abstract ideas that hopefully will occur in the future.  Maybe for some, this can even be true.  For me, goals carry the same mental weight as events or activities.  I still have to plan for the goals and prepare whenever possible.  Even more, I carry the weight of the burden of the goals with me.  It is a type of self-guilt that I should be making time for the goal or even self-criticism for not working towards that goal in the moment.

Now all of this is assuming that I carry only one goal at a time.  Sorry me, this is not so.  I cannot recall a time in my life that I would have had any less than 5 or 6 goals.  And these were conscious goals that I can name and express as significant goals at that given time.

How can I balance my life if I can't even balance my goals?  The goals that lay heavy on my shoulders, haunt my dreams, and silently pull me towards and away things while I am unaware.  How can I bring balance to this part of me?

In taking a step back from myself, I can propose a plan for myself.  The plan goes something like this...

*  Make a list of all of my conscious goals.
*  Prioritize these goals.
*  Choose one to focus on.  Choose the one that either can bring the most pleasure doing, the one that   is the easiest to succeed at, or the one that is pressing most due to time constraints.
*  Know that the other goals are on that piece of paper, but deserve no concern until the ONE that is being focused on is completed and celebrated!
*  Revisit the list and start over again...

Questions...

- Can I do this?
- Can I stick with it?
- Will it work?

Of course, the answers to these questions and concerns are obvious...I will only know if I try it.

So, here goes the plan.

Wish me luck.

Peace.

Mark

Balance is a work in progress

I have noted on social media and most so on Facebook that very little is balanced in life for many.  I see so many posts about hurt.  I see even more that are very PRO or AGAINST the president, the Pope, or government.  So many pieces of media that make claims that are powerful enough for some people to just simply give up.

In my efforts to bring balance to my life, I need to make a solid decision.  That decision is about my use of social media.  I absolutely love the fact that I get to stay connected to people, reconnect, and even make friends from around the world.  The Problem.  As stated above, there is so much to confuse my mind or get in the way of balance, that I question the value of the way that I have been using social media in my life.

Balance.

So where is my balance?  Not sure yet.  Here are my possible solutions...or at least the ones that I have proposed to myself.

1.  Stop using social media.

2.  Find a way to be purpose oriented with my use of social media.  In other words, log on with a purpose such as see what my friends are up to, make a specific connection, or limit my time with my views.

3.  Do nothing and get over it.

4.  Block all "friends" except for those that I feel are healthy for my journey of balance.

My assessment.

1.  I would miss the positives if I stopped.

2.  This makes sense, but I would need a specific plan.

3.  Doing nothing defeats my efforts of balance.

4.  All people, even my friends have bad days or get on a rant.  If I did this, I mine as well do number 1 and stop using social media.


The solution.

At least we will call it the solution for now.  Balance is a work in progress.  As it is...I am going for option number 2.  Again, I will need some sort of plan of attack.  This one fits today.  I am finding that in balance, it has to be a work in progress.  It is a process.  Nothing stays balanced once it is in balance.  The world and life doesn't work that way.

Peace.

Mark.